I posted earlier about my 'monkey brain' and how it loves to control my thoughts. I am working on it and I do good until someone pisses me off, then its back again to angry thoughts. I know I can't find the 'peace' I am striving for if I walk around with angry thoughts all the time. I am also a believer of the 'law of attraction' philosophy. I have seen it in action, so I understand that I am the creator of my own universe. If I worry about things then I will attract the very things I worry most about, like lack of money. If I am angry about something, I will attract angry people or negative situations. If I am happy, I will attract happy people. Like attracts like. We all know people who lives their lives in constant drama. I don't want to live that way.
Here is a summary of my recent encounter with someone who I feel wronged me, to create a clearer picture. I worked a small party last weekend (3 days ago and I am still stewing over it), and the manager came around to 'correct' my mistakes 5 times in one hour. He nit-picked me to no end, and he was so bad the guests who witnessed his behavior told him -twice- to leave me alone, and that I was doing a great job until he came around. By the end of the night I was a wreck. I should have told him to get lost, since I already decided I wouldn't work for that company again. After the party I found out that he bothered two other employees as well, so being a jerk is his normal behavior. What I did do was call his boss the next day to tell him my side of the story - ok, complain about his behavior but all I got was the company voicemail. I didn't explain why I was calling, only that I wanted to talk to him about the party. Needless to say I never got a call back, so I found myself stewing about that.
I was going to call this morning and leave a detailed message, when I caught myself - do I want to be right? Or do I want to have peace? I know that I will never work for that company again so whats the point of geting myself worked up? It was an occasional, part time gig and paid a measley $50. My peace of mind is worth alot more than that!
My conclusion is this: I cannot control how others treat me. I can only control my own behavior. Everything is about energy. And like attracts like. If I am upset, angry, worried, or fearful, I will attract someone that matches my energy. I have to admit, I am concerned about the mounting medical bills, even though I tell patients I visit not to think about their bills and focus on getting well, I tend to do the samething. Its easier said than done sometimes.
So, I decided to let that experience go. Do I really care what he or anyone else thinks of me? No. Although those thoughts still try to sneak back. I look at and tell myself "oh, its you again. That happened 3 days ago and its time to move on." The next time I am faced with a negative situation, I want to figure out how I attracted it, and work on stopping those negative thoughts. I want to live in the now, the present moment because that's all we really have.
Dogs understand that very well. I want to learn from my dogs and just chill out - be happy! More tail wagging, less growling.