Sunday, December 30, 2012

I visited a patient yesterday that has the best attitude. He has melanoma...lost his right arm, to the shoulder and is losing his eyesight as a side effect from chemo (dr. told him its temporary condition)...he never pulled the "pity card" once...even though, in my opinion he has every right to...instead he talked about the stars, rainbows, and funny stories about his past jobs...he is a scientist and amateur astronomer and loves to read books...not Kindles, REAL books...but he has to wait to do all that until he is better. He is such a great role model.

xo   Inge

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

So today is the 2 year anniversary of me going to the emergency room and beginning the journey of my lifetime. I look at it as my *awakening* from the sleepwalking I was living for most of my life. I had glimpses before...what Oprah calls "the whisper"...which I looked at for about a minute...but continued on until my soul or innerself screamed for me to change and become the person I came here to be.

So I will continue on this journey...focus on my abilities and strengths.... follow my heart and not listen to my fears...anymore.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

So I wake up 6 a.m. Thursday morning with burning pain that radiates all over my intestinal tract. After 2 hours I realize I have to get checked out by the docter....all I can think about is my $831 share of cost and wtf am I going to do now. I am able to get an appointment with my primary care doctor who charges $100...(I have to pay up front) but she says my skin looks yellow and there is blood in my urine ( my pain is still a level 10) its 1 p.m. and hubby and I have to go to Emergency where I sit for 4 hours...its crowded and 2 people are in life threatening situations -- so I have to wait my finally at 9 pm I get morphine and anti-nausea meds.... a cat-scan and by midnight its confirmed....acute appendicitus. I get a room by 3 am and by 5:30 I am getting prepped for surgery. I have been technically awake for 24 hours and getting grumpy. I am also reminded of 2 years ago and all the tests and pain, and I feel myself getting emotional...
. I try to stay focused on what is happening now.

I am in and out of surgery within one hour and back in my room by 10 am. I can now eat liquids but I cannot get any sleep. Everyone and their mother keeps checking on me so by 3 pm, I tell my nurse I want to go home. I have to show them I can walk and eat more food. I am released 10 o'clock that night. My stomach is sore and I can't fit into my pants because I am swollen but I am home.

Moral to my story: I cannot worry about things I cannot control. My bills will take care of themselves. I am thankful it was only my appendix.... 2 years ago this December my diagnosis was much worse and I landed on my feet.