Quiet Your Mind to Get Peace of Mind

I was watching the boob tube yesterday and a story came on about silent retreats. They are vacation destinations catering to persons looking to take a timeout from the *rat race*.   I found more information abut them on the web. Spring is just around the corner so some of you may be thinking of where to vacation when the weather is warmer -- so why not take a silent vacation also known as Vipassana to clear your mind from all the monkey chatter?


But if your like me, who don't have the funds for a lengthy get away or aren't sure if you can stay away from your electronic gadgets for that long, try it for a weekend.


Here are a few more places that offer weekend retreats and longer ones you might want to check out if you live in California:

Joshue Tree Retreat Center


Pine Mountain Buddhist Temple & Meditation Retreat


The California Vipassana Center offers retreats for kids and teens and they are free! (Donations gladly accepted)



If even those places are too scary for you, how about a one day silent retreat in the comfort of your own home? But no cheating! Give all your electronic devices to a friend to make sure you won't be tempted to check your email or facebook page. It will give you a taste of what your monkey mind does to your thought process all day long. We go through our days on auto-pilot and don't even realize how many negative thoughts go through our mind each day. Spending time just with YOU will be hard at first because we really are addicted to constant *input* and spending quiet time will help you realize it.


A lot of the problems we have start with our thought patterns, which create beliefs (many false) "a belief is only a thought you keep thinking."   If you take time out to just 'be' you will eventually be amazed how your outlook changes. You will stop reacting to life and instead respond, which is much better for good health.



xo   Inge

This post is a continuation from Feb 1st. -- so to bring yourself up to speed just scroll down to that date.


If you work a typical 8-10 hour day (not including a hefty commute) you probably don't have much time to do something for yourself, or at least you don't think you do. Remember from my earlier post -- the most important thing in life is to stay healthy and part of that is to focus on staying grounded throughout your day?


Are you sitting behind a computer screen at work? maybe sitting in a cubicle? Time can get away from you when you are on the computer...I know it happens to me all the time, but I am working on taking a break every hour for 10 minutes. If you sit for hours and don't walk around periodically, it affects your health.  You don't have to walk all the time, instead do some yoga stretches at your desk.


If the weather is nice spend time outside during lunch. Maybe spend 5 minutes meditating or read something inspiring.


When you get home make yourself a green smoothie...it doesn't have to be anything fancy... my favorite easy-to-make smoothie is:

1 banana
1/4 cup orange juice
1/4 spring water
handful parsley
handful kale

blend and drink up


put your feet up and relax for at least 30 minutes...or what I call decompressing from work.

Now you have the energy to do what you normally do in the evening. Before bedtime...turn off the television and read (nothing scarey or dramatic) and then when its time to turn out the lights, imagine yourself sleeping peacefully.


Namaste!   Inge

Last night I had some crazy dreams. I don't remember exactly what they were about but I woke up -- not feeling rested. In fact I woke up a few times with a throbbing headache. I didn't take anything to relieve it because I try to stay away from medications and hoped the pain would leave on its own. It never did until I gave in and took an Ibuprofen.


I do practice yoga, meditation and read inspirational writings, but lately I found myself back on board the 'crazy train' of daily life and not taking care of myself like I know I should. My body has a way of telling me to get back on track and I now  I work at paying  better attention.


I believe the most important thing in life is our health and that we should (I try to stay away from that word, but in this instance I think its appropriate) do anything and everything to maintain good health...no matter what.


I mentioned before that its important to keep our body, mind and spirit in sync to live a healthy life.  I am doing good with my diet but sometimes I fall off the wagon when it comes to my mind and spirit. These days there are lots of things going on to distract us and keep us away from ourselves...meaning taking away our time to just 'be'.


Our society is geared in such a way that we believe we must be lazy if we aren't 'doing' something every waking moment. That concept is bad for our health. If our minds are out of whack then our bodies will follow shortly. Our minds are easier to fix but once the body is sick, it takes longer to heal.


I talk with many people who tell me they don't have time to even meditate for 10 minutes a day and I say they do have the time. Its not about having enough time, its a time management problem. I believe the best time to nurture ourselves is first thing in the morning. I know we all love to sleep in to the last minute before we have to jump out of bed and rush to get to wherever we have to be, but this isn't good for our mental or physical health. Taking time for ourselves sets the tone for the rest of the day. I know because it works. If I take at the very least 30 minutes for myself -- first thing in the morning my day goes a lot smoother. I am more focused and relaxed. I can deal with whatever comes up and not get caught up in any drama that may try to sneak its way into my day.


But I am human and that means I forget... and sometimes I sleep in to the last minute and jump right into my day and rush around like a mad woman... feeling drained and off balance. This morning my body reminded whats important and its to stay healthy...no matter what. 



The first thing I do are yoga stretches...nothing strenuous but enough to loosen up my muscles. I used to be much more limber before my cancer treatments but everyday I can stretch just a little bit more. Yoga isn't about doing the poses perfectly, its about doing it the best you can and stay in the moment...breathing in and breathing out. Its about 'being' with yourself.  Since I have a balance issue I use a chair or wall for the standing poses and then I do a few poses on the floor. It takes me about 10 minutes.


Then I sit for 10 minutes and just focus on my breath. I do use guided meditations but not in the morning. I want to focus on being in the 'now'. It helps me stay present during the day and if there is a 'snag' I can respond to it and not have a knee jerk reaction.


After that, I read inspiring writings either from books or on the Internet. The great thing about the Internet is that we can follow the writings of just about anyone, because most authors or inspiring Teachers have a blog. Today I am reading the writings from Thich Nhat Hanh. I found some books on Zen Buddhism at the library and they carry alot of his books. Zen is something I resonate with. Its a form of Buddhism that I like following, but spirituality is a personal thing. Find something you resonate with and contemplate its teachings or words of inspiration. There is no right or wrong.


I met a woman at the hospital where I volunteer, getting cancer treatments who is also a yoga instructor. She is Christian and calls her practise 'yoking with the Lord'. She likes to read books by Christian authors. She resonates with her belief. I resonate with eastern philosophy. There is no right or wrong. There just 'is'.


If you do these 3 things first thing in the morning on a daily basis, I know your day will go more smoothly. If you have a family that needs your attention first thing in the morning, wake up 30 minutes earlier than them. You are worth the time and effort and your body will thank you for it.


My next post will give you tips on staying grounded throughout your day.... stay tuned!



xo    Inge

"Sunrise with Song Birds" Meditation for Stress Relief

I have been visualizing myself choking people who piss me off lately which is an indicator that I need to get back to meditating and take a time out from the world. I found this video on youtube that I am trying out.

Stress is bad for our immune system so if you find yousrelf angry, anxious or depressed, your innerself is talking to you. Listen to it and get back on track. Meditating helps me. You only need 10 minutes a day to keep your mind healthy. There are many good videos on youtube to choose from. Chirping birds is one of my favorites.

I posted earlier about my 'monkey brain' and how it loves to control my thoughts. I am working on it and I do good until someone pisses me off, then its back again to angry thoughts. I know I can't find the 'peace' I am striving for if I walk around with angry thoughts all the time. I am also a believer of the 'law of attraction' philosophy. I have seen it in action, so I understand that I am the creator of my own universe. If I worry about things then I will attract the very things I worry most about, like lack of money. If I am angry about something, I will attract angry people or negative situations. If I am happy, I will attract happy people. Like attracts like. We all know people who lives their lives in constant drama. I don't want to live that way.

Here is a summary of my recent encounter with someone who I feel wronged me, to create a clearer picture. I worked a small party last weekend (3 days ago and I am still stewing over it), and the manager came around to 'correct' my mistakes 5 times in one hour. He nit-picked me to no end, and he was so bad the guests who witnessed his behavior told him -twice- to leave me alone, and that I was doing a great job until he came around. By the end of the night I was a wreck. I should have told him to get lost, since I already decided I wouldn't work for that company again. After the party I found out that he bothered two other employees as well, so being a jerk is his normal behavior. What I did do was call his boss the next day to tell him my side of the story - ok, complain about his behavior but all I got was the company voicemail. I didn't explain why I was calling, only that I wanted to talk to him about the party. Needless to say I never got a call back, so I found myself stewing about that.

I was going to call this morning and leave a detailed message, when I caught myself - do I want to be right? Or do I want to have peace? I know that I will never work for that company again so whats the point of geting myself worked up? It was an occasional, part time gig and paid a measley $50. My peace of mind is worth alot more than that!
 

My conclusion is this: I cannot control how others treat me. I can only control my own behavior. Everything is about energy. And like attracts like. If I am upset, angry, worried, or fearful, I will attract someone that matches my energy. I have to admit, I am concerned about the mounting medical bills, even though I tell patients I visit not to think about their bills and focus on getting well, I tend to do the samething. Its easier said than done sometimes.

 

So, I decided to let that experience go. Do I really care what he or anyone else thinks of me?  No. Although those thoughts still try to sneak back. I look at and tell myself "oh, its you again. That happened 3 days ago and its time to move on." The next time I am faced with a negative situation, I want to figure out how I attracted it, and work on stopping those negative thoughts. I want to live in the now, the present moment because that's all we really have.

 

Dogs understand that very well. I want to learn from my dogs and just chill out - be happy! More tail wagging, less growling.

 

I was going to listen to my usual meditation videos on youtube this afternoon when I noticed on the sidebar a name I haven't seen for awhile. his name is Jon Kabat-Zinn.  He is a speaker and author. In a nutshell, he speaks about living in the moment or as he calls mindfulness. This video was done at UCSD in 2008, and he was addressing medical students. So instead of my usual meditation, I decided to listen to him.

He asked the question, "How many of you are really in the shower, when you are taking a shower? Are you in a meeting? Are you having a discussion with someone who isn't there?" I felt he was talking to me, because I do this all the time, and I don't have to be in the shower, I can be washing the dishes, or driving my car. I figured it was my OCD thoughts, but maybe its what eastern philosophy calls, my 'monkey brain'. Maybe it has nothing to with OCD.

He stressed the idea that we really need to be presnt because the present moment is all we really have.He asked these resident doctors how many were present with their patients, but that can be with anyone. Even me. How often am I present with my pets, my husband, a friend? There are so many things to distract us these days. I can spend endless hours on my laptop searching for information that I can share with others, especially when I am passionate about something like Prop 37.

My personality is either all in or all out. I can't do something half baked. This is a good thing but it can take away from the other parts of me that need to be nurtured - like meditating or day dreaming or playing with my pets. I can be consumed by a passion and I don't think that's healthy for me. Finding this video and getting me to think about this is exactly what the doctor ordered. In order for me to do all the things I want to do, I need to spend time nurturing myself. I understood that quite well while I was going through treatment for cancer, but when I got well, I seem to have forgotten that - again.

How many hours do I spend listening to the same old news stories each day? I admit it, I am a news junkie. Do they have a 12 Step program for that? 

My scan came back clear and I am thrilled, but knowing that, its so easy to join that rat race and for what a piece of cheese? I don't eat that anymore, I'm vegan. I want to take time for myself. I want to live in the present moment. I know muti-tasking is not what its cracked up to be. I have to stop snooping the internet when someone has taken the time to talk to me, because isn't that what this boils down to? Time. There are only so many hours we are given and then its over. How do we want to spend the time we have? How do I want to spend the time I have?


I should know this, I am reminded almost daily when I am in the infusion center at the hospital.  I am glad I bumped into this video. I will look for Zinns books at the library. I used to read alot and I want to get back to that. I think it will help me in the long run be a better advocate or what some might call agitator. I will be on my toes ready to answer any questions that the opposition may throw at me. If I am running in different directions, not fully focused I will get burned out. Been there, done that and I didn't like the result.

I changed my eating habits for the better and now i think its time to change my thinking habits. I want to spen less time in my head and more time in my body. I have six senses. I want to spend time with all of them.

These past ten days have been going non-stop but I finally came back up for air. I don't know if I mentioned
before that I have a slight case of OCD (my diagnosis) and when I get focused on something I am
passionate about, I think about it 24/7-even in my sleep. Being a cancer survivor, I know this is not good for me. I have to have balance and that goes for all of us, not just survivors. Maybe if we all
had more balance in our lives we wouldn't get sick or at least get well faster.

These days we rush around like maniacs and for what? To be the first one to sit at a red light?  Sit at a computer all day and then rush home to fix dinner for the family, help the kids with homework, then stare at a computer at night to see whats happening on facebook, or play "words the friends" or watch housewives from (you name the city) fight and be rude to each other. Then spend the weekends catching up on housework, taking the kids to endless activities, and on and on.

Where is the "down" time. The quiet time where one can just de-stress. We were told these expensive electronic gadgets would make our lives better but in my opinion its made us more impatient and rushed. For example, I was at a party the other day. I watched some guests playing roulette and someone complained the ball took too long to go around the wheel! Can you imagine! Its a game and no one was going anywhere, but the ball was taking to long to go around the wheel!

All this impatience adds to stress and stress not only creates body fat but it creates DISEASE! Like cancer! We need to "chill out!" And that includes me. I was talking with a patient yesterday who is 77
years old, but looks around 60ish. He defintely looks better than alot of men in the 50s and he survived cancer. He was getting some fluids because of the intense heat we are experiencing (thats a whole other topic) but even with that he looked great.


He told me when he was diagnosed with cancer he changed his whole life. He thought he was living a healthy lifestyle since he was 19 but there was things in his diet that he could do without and that was meat. We agreed that today's meat is NOT the same as it was 20 years ago. He has been cancer free for one year just like me. He starts his day with stretches and lifts small weights. He told me that we really don't need to spend all that money at a gym because we have all we need right at home. We can walk for 20 minutes right around our neighborhood and as for weights we can use bottled waters or large canned goods. We can use chairs or counters to help us stretch. He also does some Tai Chi.

Our conversation really got me to thinking. I was meant to meet Phil. I am also guilty of falling off the "take care of Inge" wagon. I was not stretching as much as I should. I need to walk more everyday. I am not meditating a few minutes every day anymore. Yes, I am sticking to my vegan diet but food is not the only thing we need to be aware of to stay healthy. We are whole beings. My cats are good teachers. They know how to relax. I need to get back on track. And I am starting today. I have no excuse for not taking time out for me at least one hour  day.

How about you? What are you doing for you to feel healthy, to de-stress? If you have kids it's time to delegate. Have them load the dish washer, help fix dinner, help clean the house. They may not do as good a job as you, but that's where you need to "chillout". So the house is a little dusty, the floors
 aren't mopped exactly like you would do it. And get hubby involved, he can take the kids to soccer or ballet or swimming. Turn off the television a few nights a week. Read that book, meditate. Get a foot massge. In other words take care of yourself and get off the "crazy train" for a while! Your body will thank you.


and don't forget to eat your fruits and veggies!    xo  Inge

I used to be a worry wart but I am doing better with that, however I still find myself battling negative thoughts at times. I am practising more meditation which definitely helps. Cancer taught me to stop worrying about things I cannot cont...rol which is alot. I learned after lots of research that negative thinking like worrying causes stress and stress lowers the immune system. When the immune system is out of whack it sets the stage for disease to take over. I changed my eating habits and I am working hard to change my mental habits as well.

 

http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2010/02/23/negative-thinking/

I watched Wayne Dyer on PBS last night. He has a new lecture and book. I heard he got Leukemia a couple of years ago but this is the first time he spoke openly about his experience... He had a guest speaker, Anita Moorjani, who talked about what she learned from her near death experience. I have listened to Dr. Dyer since the 80s and I always come away with something inspiring. I guess this time I... connected with him more because we both battled and won the fight against cancer. We both had a poor prognosis but we chose to see things differently than what we were being told. I believe my positive mindset was huge in getting a great outcome. You are what you think!

I liked what Anita had to say about her life lesson from her near death experience and that was to live her life authentically...which for me is wearing my warts and all. I will no longer be a people pleaser. Before cancer, she had lived her life in fear...mostly about dumb stuff that never manifested. I used to do the samething but when I got my diagnosis, it was the first time in my life I did not feel fear. I am not the same person I was over a year ago and I am happy about that. Even though being sick was not fun, it also gave me a great gift.

If you want to check out those books... "Wishes Fulfilled" by Dr.Wayne Dyer and "Dying to be Me" by Anita Moorjani.

I have been a bad girl lately. I have neglected my daily guided meditation practise. So today I am taking care of myself and listening to the guided meditation from Kelly Howell. You can find her on youtube. There are several good meditation videos from lots of different people to choose from on youtube so listen to different ones to find out which ones you resonate with. There are 2 quotes from Howell's tape that I like..."Remember anything is possible and miracles can happen at any moment" I am living proof of that! and here's the other one... "I intend to focus on that which is life giving and positive."

I got this beautiful photo from www.custombackgroundsfortwitter.com it was free :)